'Taking a Break from Posting' What are People Really Saying When They Give Up Social Media?
Fatigue of anything can happen, including social media.
I’ve seen two people this week post about have they haven’t been posting. Put on a scale it’s more annoying than telling everyone what you’re giving up for Lent and less annoying than asking for everyone to hold you accountable for what you’re giving up for Lent.
To me, it reads as a belated birthday note-my response: ‘okayyyy…? Do you want a cookie?’ And maybe that response is coming from my frequent posting self.
Now just because someone temporarily gave up posting online to touch that sweet, sweet, grass that doesn’t mean its some big subtweet to those of us who do continue to post and fry our dopamine levels (or maybe it is?)
Influencers, especially those in the big leagues, take holistic breaks from the internet at times…but usually in response in negatively. Celebrities aren’t immune from public backlash like Aziz Ansari taking a whole ass sabbatical while that date blew over (and I’m sorry again for bringing it back up again now Aziz). YouTube content creator and curator of millennial humour Jenna Marbles straight up left the internet with seemingly no plans of coming back because of cancellation, while others take a more, lets say…avoidant attachment approach and ignore any adversity and continue posting like nothing, like once universally popular TikToker Anna Paul who was called out by her former best friend Mikaela Testa since childhood for being kind of shitty.
Her response/apology/lecture to her followers left many unsatisfied by her seemingly disingenuous response and instead of directly responding to the controversy she continued to post like nothing was wrong, but her followers haven’t forgiven her and flood her comment section to this day with demands, reminders and retribution. Maybe Anna should of gone dark…at least for much longer.
Taking yourself out of the conversation is sometimes the best thing to do in that sort of PR emergency. It’s why when you’re arrested your wise lawyer recommends you respond ‘no comment’. So what if there is no conversation about you and you still take yourself out of the sphere?
I suppose when it stops being fun. At least the advice I give when someone tells me they’re tired of dating. Fatigue of anything can happen, including social media.
Chronically online is still a net positive saying, jokingly saying ‘I know what’s happening more so on the internet than in real life’ a badge of honour, holding the knowledge of the latest TikTok viral trends simultaneously while watching Hassan’s live stream of War World III is going down.
So if it’s okay to be a lurker on a multiple Subreddits, scroll on TikTok for hours and absorb all the latest pop culture drama (are we all still following the Blake Lively case from BeeBetter who ironically made his own comeback from the cancellation)-why is posting about anything negative?
Surely it’s more positive: you’re creating something, putting it out there in the world. it’s brave and with bravery comes expected cringe, flops (and bops).
Let’s say you’re not an influencer or celebrity, constantly peered under a critical lens, then what does posting on social media mean to you?
I mean honestly the regular person doesn’t post the same as the celebrity. No one is comparing your post to Alexa Chung’s effortlessly cool girl instagram post (sorry). The irony here is that celebrities are usually just trying to post like us normal people.
So if normies are in a league of their own, why would they want take a break?
Comparison, obviously. If you posted and no one saw it-what would that mean? Probably nothing. Yet there is a pride in not needing to post. The implication that your life is so busy, so full of moments (whatever the fuck that means). That you simply don’t have the time to step down off your high horse and do a meet and greet with peasants who must be desperately awaiting your return to posting. ‘How did they survive without my Tulum
Bach beach trip slideshow?!’ you ask yourself.
It does bring up a thought that giving up social media is kind of a luxury these days. If you don’t have to graft online, it says you have the luxury of making enough money stably elsewhere, no need of utilising its marketing angle, and the privilege of seeing most of your friends and family in real life to share updates (gossip) fresh from the source organically and free-range. It’s both a privilege and pleasure that most of us can’t opt into, by opting out of social media.
There was a fun trend (its kind of fizzled out) that encompassed this feeling: the ‘Hard-Launch’. I don’t think any Boomers read this, but if you don’t know, simply put the ‘Hard-Launch’ comes from the term ‘Soft-Launch’ where you would coyly post signs (as subtle as Taylor’s Swift’s album hints) that you’re dating someone new. A Instagram story featuring a hairy manly elbow at a marble table with dainty martinis and fresh oysters? That’s a Soft Launch. You’ve probably posted one, been privy to one, or been featured in one (if you’re lucky).
So what’s the Hard Launch then? Well the opposite, an engagement proposal. Or better yet a wedding drop without ever posting your significant other previously online. You could of pulled this groom from a random park bench, we wouldn't even know because we’ve never seen him before.
It’s so above social media, it’s telling you after the fact (when it’s too late to change your mind about anything).
I think it’s the actuality of being perceived that we hate, and the sway that perception has on us (that we refuse to admit). As a 90s kid, I think I’m cleverer than the advertising world and receive joy out of not buying something because some poster told me to.
The reality is that we are being influenced (and way before social media). There was some primitive village somewhere where one woman asks another if that mud mask really helped her skin (‘Yes but you have to use water from the far pond for the best results’). It’s humanity at its core: sharing ideas, thoughts (reviews, products, experiences) and gathering these to make the best most informed decision.
So why would someone want to opt out of the conversation? Especially when we live so far apart these days. The same way we wake up with a hangover and mild case of drinking anxieties thinking, ‘did I really say that last night? Oh god’
I think the level of perception social media affords us can echo out anxieties, highlight our insecurities and erodes our confidence. If you’re thinking, ‘well Rebecca you post online all the time’ I would say that’s exactly why I know it to be true.
For me though, I had heaps more anxiety and stress without posting. The pure envy and jealous when I saw a video-any video, that did well. ‘Why did they get that and I didn’t? I have a better flat. I have better thoughts’ I even stopped liking videos. They didn’t even deserve my like, which is bestowed as generously as a reigning Queen adding a new knight to her court. Did they even know how much my like meant?
I would still say most people’s work is still contingent with happening offline, instead happening in the ‘Real World’. You can’t build a house from a computer (not yet). In that case, the online is the deterrent to the Real World. The thing about the Real World is that you don’t really have to engage with it these days if you have a solid internet connection.
Some people, companies and brands make a living completely in the digital world, but as we’ve seen with April’s internet shortages in Spain and Portugal our digital world is fragile and breakable, and without an escape from our Real World to the Digital World we are left to embrace what we’re left with.
These two worlds, Real and Digital, exist alongside each other, with the understanding the real world is still our primary space. But what happens when we start encouraging the digital so much so that it infects our real world experiences? We’ve seen it with widespread dislike of New York City influencers, or a very specific type of influencer that fills days with iced coffee, pilates, and some form of green lunch and a salmon dinner.
New Yorkers fear that their city has become a playground for influencers. A fun backdrop to film rather than, you know, a real functioning city. Now I don’t believe some random white girls that moved here from wherever will ever ruin New York City, but it does touch on that fact that are spaces now in our real physical world that are being polluted with too much digital.
There was a ‘waking up in -insert city-2025’ dystopian video style trend, that highlights and pokes fun of the recent phenomenon of interviews on the street (whether its someone quizzing you on music, asking you why you’re single, or even just prompting you about your childhood trauma you can’t even ride the subway in peace anymore), influencers recording fit checks in the middle of street, the general Real World is being rung out at the expense and for, the Digital World.
So even when you break up (or take a break) with social media in the Digital World, it’s still very much a part of the Real World. So is there really any true escape?
I am lucky to live in a pretty digitally untouched corner of the Real World. If New York represents Hawaii with its overpopulation and over-tourism, then Birmingham represents Okinawa-relatively untouched and still welcoming to stray visitor from the mainland. They might even thank them for visiting and ask them to tell their friends to come, but how long can Okinawa stay true to itself? And if it becomes polluted, is it you, the shouter of its greatness at fault?
The digital planet is massive, with many spaces for discourse, and not all you need to visit. I used to always start with general reddit homepage, showing the good and the bad of the day. Now I only visit my personal homepage that is usually filled with gardening questions and Harry Potter theories. A massive relief and took years of stress off my mental health.
I used to love Twitter, but absolutely fucking hate X *spit* good riddens. I rather develop a good recipe for concrete than have to take a dip in the disgusting digital cesspool that little Elon created. I no longer use Twitter because it no longer exists.
I rarely use Facebook, I do miss the days of online photo albums, I still scroll through sometimes and find exactly the moment I’m looking for with ease and no iCloud. I think of Facebook more like a digital archive of a time and place.
Instagram, well is a digital sea within the planet. Massive and all encompassing. I would post more private thoughts in the captions if I felt brave (which I don’t).
While Meta and X try to force our hand, the essence is true: your feed is a reflection of yourself and if you don’t like what you’re seeing, that’s a you problem.
I do think your internet browsing is a reflection of yourself. It’s the same people who boldly post about TikTok and Reels being all shite posts of hot girls dancing who refuse to hear the algorithm is a reflection of yourself. Now I do believe, especially on Reels, there is a algorithm being force feed to you as soon as you sign up with your age and location. There are people who prove this to be true to infiltrate and report what’s going on in those darker sides of digital planet like Red Pill reherehet, Incels, and more.
It’s not hard to slip into the a shade of grey, or worse. These companies make it easy to go dark and they should be held accountable for their disgusting acts to continue to breed dissent between the people who have the most power (us) in numbers.
Yet, the reality is that if we want to use social media in a healthy way we should be curating our Digital World spaces as much as we mow our lawn in the Real World. Both worlds deserve attention and maintenance.
In the same way we could opt out of the Real World and pull some Ron Swason living off-grid move, people can opt out of social media and the internet. In the Real World we are living in society and we can opt out, take a break, and come back all to find the world will still be spinning without us.
Same goes for social media. Maybe it isn’t your posting. Maybe it isn’t your followers or following. Maybe it can’t be solved by deleting your account and creating a new one. Maybe you just needed to touch grass and go off grid for a weekend. I think it’s actually really healthy to set these personal boundaries, experiment with different days and put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
Is posting about taking a break hypocritical? Maybe a bit self-congratulatory and conscending, a bit tone-deaf at most. The essence of the social media break is from the Digital World is the same as booking a holiday for a week, you’re logging off to eventually log back on at home: more rested and recouped with a fresh perspective.
Maybe you didn't need to run away to the woods and leave society. If you do, well we’ll miss ya but we’ll survive.
Rebecca Rampersaud is an American writer, University guest Lecturer, Entrepreneur and Content Creator based in Birmingham, UK. She has her Masters in Enterprise and Entrepreneurship from the University of Leeds and a BA Honors in Fashion Design from Middlesex University. She enjoys craft beer (with the rogue vogue), writing thought pieces and keeping her taste palette guessing.
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